But I feel like I hate working. I worked one job where I would literally cry myself sick on my half hour commute every day. I come from a somewhat similar mindset, and whats allowed me to shift to a better place is by taking measures to remove some of the feeling of being dictated to or obligated by having jobs that allow me to be almost entirely self-directed and then working very hard to do a really good job. Some people are out there doing their jobs just fine while secretly hating them, and I dont think they should be canned for the private contents of their souls. I hate work too. ? Most people need some help changing those thought patterns and orienting themselves in a more positive (or middle ground) direction. Top editors give you the stories you want delivered right to your inbox each weekday. Think about every task you do and how you do it. They might also be able to suggest ways to continue therapy in an affordable manner. fails*. I am a Stepford Smiler big time because I have to be, but it doesnt help so much. A university with a graduate counseling clinic that may be open to the public? I am zero fun at parties because Id almost always rather be sleeping. "As we've said, we remain committed to the programs and partnerships we have forged over decades with organizations across a number of communities, including those in the LGBTQ+ community," an Anheuser-Busch spokesperson said in a statement to Insider. intelligent carpenter is usually confined to exhorting him not to be drunk and To the milennials here, could a song with this lyrics have been popular with your generation? However, I still think its a good ideavolunteering has an excellent track record for improving the lives and outlook of those who do it, not so much because Hurrah! I remember DREAMING of working in a corporate environment where every day would start at the same time, every paycheck would be for the same amount, and no one would call me asking me to pick up shifts for them. That mindset that your noticing is definitely something that you could probably modify with CBT or a similar goal oriented therapy. I hesitated to comment because this could easily be taken the wrong way, so please understand that I support you getting help and making changes and working towards a happier life. And yet, those SAME emotions did NOT arise in settings which have the same requirements but which are not work-oriented. Mindfulness/being present might work of youre interested in that (or Buddhism). So he turned me into a yes sir no sir people pleaser. Its about something thats somewhat helpful in brief, stressful situations. This could also be a sign of depression, hormone imbalnces, or a host of treatable disorders. On of my sons is this way; the thought of sitting at a desk is torture for him. Maybe in this case, letting go of the Im the man of the family and have to work concept for a while would help. You may have to try more than one therapist though. But I too, think I could achieve so much more if I actually GAF. I work just enough to keep my job use less energy to enjoy my life with family, friends and passion for my hobbie. Making the choice while the choice is mine to make. Start with your general practitioner. This is way out in left field, but I once interviewed a childcare provider that was a husband and wife team. Not a job, but I was once in a relationship that was pretty dysfunctional and not good for me. This is the phrase many people heard. I dont expect my employees to feel gratitude for being employed. Hes not ungrateful. The OP is holding onto a job because he has a family to support and feel a responsibility to them that he knows he can only fulfill with a job, much as he may hate it. The choice he DOES have is to seek treatment, and probably work very hard at dealing with whatever the issue is. Well, Ill just talk about me, because I dont live in your head. In fact, its incredibly destructive advice. I think there are honestly some people who hate routine more than others and need to be creative and free. Meditating helps you to do what you gotta do without agonizing over it (aside from a long list of other benefits). Everything is fake the terminology, the attire, the interactions, the culture everything. Excessive anxiety or being miserable just because you have a job those are not part of the human condition. To not find any joy at all in something that consumes so much of ones life really is sad. No employer expects 100% efficiency 100% of the time. :mind blown: Actually bookmarking this to re-read because it is so great to see how much this resonates with so many people. That feeling like you have to take on extra responsibilities or stay late can be a major factor in job dissatisfaction, especially if your paycheck doesnt match that extra effort youre putting in. I currently live with my parents, but I need to help them out financially. It will significantly change your lifestyle, but if you are not happy, why keep doing it over and over. Content is reviewed before publication and upon substantial updates. I even was enrolled in a gifted program as young as elementary school. Janitors have a thankless job, and I assumed the OP has a desk job. This conversation is interesting. Ideally, walk around for a short bit. Come on now, you might as well say that I can chose to unbreak a leg. So these things may push me to pause in ways that I dont realize. By the way, OPs body shakes at work sound like when I have a panic attack. I dont do well when a job feels like a hamster wheel. I would listen to what she has to say we may have different ideas of marriage but Id bristle a bit if my husband decided it was his place to protect me from the world. Kindly pretending were doctors is not. There are lots of masters of science and JDs among those cousins (also mostly female) and my eldest cousin is a pediatric surgeon, although shes always been a mega-achiever, that Ive always been viewed as the family slacker to such an intense degree that my extended family dismissed me as a loser until I began working with high-end financial companies. If anyone has a mental condition (depression, anxiety, etc), your advice can be very damaging. I have definitely run in to people hate their jobs or begrudge going to work, but were delusional about their skill set, overestimated their productivity and believed they contributed more than they really did. Not for opinions, not for relationship advice, and not for preaching. But thats not the case for a LOT of people. But for a random stranger online to say You may possibly have X, Y, Z, read up on it and talk to a medical expert about it is perfectly OK imo. They do this on purpose to see who has the mental strength to keep going when the end isnt in sight. But thats not her situation. If you start looking around, youll find other people who live this way. Id respond that I almost got about half of my errands done (dry-cleaning, car repair, repaired or new shoes, paid the rent, finished the laundry, vacuumed once, bought three packets of deli meat plus mustard and a loaf of bread, all of it in service of getting me TO the workplace) and yet I didnt have any free time on the weekend to do anything else. Wouldnt you hate work less if you werent stuck in rush-hour traffic everyday? Freelance or start your own business (perhaps in your free time and allow it to grow organically). Maybe you need a different kind of job, or to turn one of your hobbies into work. I havent found it yet. Now that its official that Im leaving, I feel the way you feel in a relationship when you know its over and you just have to make the breakup official. Your desire for their job (in order to meet your needs, whatever they area) doesnt trump their desire to meet their needs via the job, no matter how much they hate it. Indigestion, constipation, bloating can all be associated with stress, because stress impacts what the gut digests and can also change our gut bacteria, which in turn impacts our mood. Supreme Court Blocks Bidens Student-Debt Relief Plan. I dont think those people are worth sacrificing your happiness for in any case. -Discussing / moving towards accepting the fact that its okay if Im not completely in love with my job; its okay if Im not a super-high ambitious ladder-climber in my job; its okay to have a job just to have a job and not to WIN AT JOBBING; Many managers are narcissists and sociopaths on power trips. So that foregoing your allowance for not doing the chores was a more pleasant alternative than doing them and suffering some form of abuse for not doing them right? Id venture that you have a very severe case of existential angst. I am bad at every job I have. Not only is this not juvenile, but its someone the bulk of people can certainly relate to. If you discover you are not qualified for some of the responsibilities you want to take on, then work with your supervisor to create a plan that closes the gap. I find this fascinating, because I dont need breaks and I admit Ive sometimes been skeptical at the idea that others need as many as they sometimes claim. I cant really explain it either. Something that stands out to me about your letter, OP, is that youre treating work as this monolithic mass that includes housekeeping/chores as well as what you do to earn your daily bread. True this is not just about work, there is more at play here but we are human beings and where we go our baggage goes as well. GOOD LUCK. I feel the same EXACT way its so bad when I die I think to My self at least I wont have to work anymore its messed up I wonder if its all the chemicals in the food and water, I have the same problem. Labor is sticky. I just wrote a data collection report at work for the 72 possible triggers in a nursing admission assessment that could signal a need for an OT evaluation. That was pretty scary because I had no trail blazers in the family. That may not work if her potential earnings are much lower than his. What I mean is that I have a very short commute (near enough I can walk it), a decent wage for what is so far not terribly taxing or stressful work, I get along well with my co-workers and the free coffee is delicious. This is me too! The four to do laundry, dishes, eat, and bank. However, if you want to start loving your work again, you are going to need to focus on the things you love. Then they should get it! And she cried and said to him, Dont say things like that! I hated itit wasnt what I thought it was going to be. Why not seriously explore the alternative paths youre drawn to? Thats a good point that hardly anyone ever makes. Working is part of the human condition. Just get the job done and move on to the next task. We guarantee you that the vast majority will look down on you. I have my own desk. Its difficult to choose happiness when you may not be clear on how it looks to you in your life, or remember how it feels. If a pair of socks gives you a blister throw them away! But a little perspective wont fix it. . . I agree completely, theres something going on here thats more than the usual dislike of work (because few people love every moment of their workbut they can get through it without shaking or going off on people). But I think the OP is definitely on a different level. Where does his wife fit into this? We may be at a high level of civilization, buteveryone still identifies with some animals and warriors. But many people dont naturally work in a constant, regular way. Due to my incrdible job turnover rate i have mastered many different types of work, but I dont want to do any of them at least not for the slim check I get for putting my life on the line every single day for a boss who doesnt know my name and will fire me at the first mixup. I had no idea what caused me to feel this way (no family history). My partner hates work too, but it doesnt make him as deeply miserable as you sound. I have a very smart friend who caught me doing this a few years back. I hate work tooall work. Everyone else loves it, and I hate it. OP, can you do that? If you were just barely performing, example one task that takes a day you take 3 or more to finish, then there would be reason for being fired. So, I second this! And the last piece of advice, take it one step at a time as you do not want to overwhelm yourself and end up back where you are now; sometimes you do have to focus on the tree rather that the forest. I hope this helps, I wish you absolutely the best. It was brave of you to write in and you sound like a thoughtful, self-aware person. MRIs. It would get worse and worse. Thank you!!! I start watching the show, and then halfway through the season I will start to feel like theres pressure to watch it, and Ill get frustrated and anxious (and its not that my spouse is pressuring me at all, the frustration and anxiousness is all in my head and I know it) and I wont want to watch it any more. She got made at me one day for saying I didnt want to be there. Please help. I have seen people change their disposition and I do think its worth doing. Very few people genuinely enjoy employment, any more than they genuinely enjoy housework or paying bills or any of the other things that go with being responsible for yourself and others. Im lucky enough to work in the creative field of my choice, but I think the difference for me is that while I was in school, I was learning and bettering myself, so I was the direct beneficiary of all my efforts. I usually took 2 out of 5 days off, but you can only do that so much before they fire you. Its so great. I love my career. Another round of chemo. So, it makes it easier to get my butt to work. But I am not quite as miserable as OP. We pull up our big person undies and get on with it. According to a 2022 Gallup report on the global workplace, just 21% of employees feel engaged at work while the rest feel emotionally detached (60%) or downright miserable (19%). Wear headphones or turn on your away message to signal to coworkers that youre in deep work mode and unavailable to assist with other tasks. Im booked this week, but I can fit you in next Thursday?. so. No, occupational therapists complement physical therapists they deal with helping people do physical tasks that they have trouble with (eg tying ones shoes or walking.). -Discussing / moving towards accepting several specific realities about my life, including: I have a chronic disease that requires money to ensure I receive care; I choose not to go into business for myself because its not a good fit with my temperament / skills; The mental health symptoms alone are antithetical to happiness and career success, to say nothing of the numerous physical syndromes and chronic pain dogging most sufferers of C-PTSD. is shameful. Also depression, as Ive noted Im going through a bad bout right now. I think this thread has been damn near unanimous that the OPs problem is about more than just work and indicates psychological issues that therapy and medication could address. Take a cooking class. I was the same way in school. And like you are saying of your own experiences, this spanned most of my life. Have you ever heard of anything like this before? It is a bit like circadian rhythms, as C Average touched on.

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